Growth is the most painful when we resist

Often times, i look back my life and start to hope that i can be a liitle child again. Being an adult can be very tiring sometimes. Well, more accurately, most of the time. The resposibilities that you have to bear with and the expectations from the others.....Can be quite suffocating sometimes......

Especially recently, as i'm posting in paediatric posting and previously in O&G posting which both involve dealing with babies, toddles and children. When i see their happy faces, i wish i can smile and laugh like them. When i see them crying, i wish i can cry like them. When i see them sleeping soundly and peacefully, i wish i could too. (especially during oncals)

When is the last time i had actually laughed whole-heartedly?
When is the last time i had actually cried from the bottom of the heart?
When is the last time i had slept with no worries of tomorrow?

I think hard and i only have answer to the 2nd question.
Yup, had been crying hard once last 2 weeks.
I knew and i always know that life of an adult is never been easy, but i never expect that how hard it can be.
Life is full with sorrows but it should be full with happiness and hope as well.
Since when the robotic and materialistic life of an adult had turned me into a mercyless and an ignorance person??

I questioned myself but have no answer to it.
I was speechless.
Yet, one thing for sure.
Who i am now is not the person that i want to be when i was small.
This is not the life i want.

This is the time to change.

And time to bed. Had been in a hyposomnia state lately.~Joel

A Day Forgotten

It's the day of the year again -- highlighted on our table calendar -- National Day. With a flag and a reminder that it's the celebration of Independence. Or it's a day we remember as an Off-day? Shopping day?(as Merdeka Sale is knocking our doors) Family Day? Parade day? ... ...

Being the Post Merdeka generation, we do not witness the birth of our nation. We therefore will not understand the meaning of Independence. Few weeks back, I visited a War Museum of Kelantan by chance. It highlighted the time Malaya was invaded and colonised by Japan army. If you remember our history well, the Japanese landed on Kota Bharu by bicycles in 1941. During their colonization, the Malayan students were complied to sing a song "Kimigayo" in school assembly. "May the Emperor's reign continue for a thousand Eight thousand generations until the pebbles grow into boulders lush with moss..." And I think, "History was made yesterday to teach us how to live today for a better tomorrow."

Anyhow, Aug 31 is just another day./Natalie

On the Move

*I tag this post under the heading 'Travel' though we are fulfilling our District posting and are obliged to stay over there for three and a half weeks. Because we are indeed 'travelling' to and fro. ;)

This is not a planned vacation. We have no choice. Jerteh, Besut is our destination.
Accomodation: A semi-detached, semi-concrete+wooden house. Adequate eletrical supply but scarce water source. We heard people screaming "No Water!" in the middle of their baths. -_-!
Duration: Three and a half weeks.
Mission: Hmm, I've no concrete idea in the beginning. To fulfill our logbooks? (5 of them in all) To carry out some surveys and playing the SPSS? Guess have to tell later on.
Places of interest: Hospital Besut, District Health Office, Health clinics. And Restaurants of course.
Team Members: There are 14 of us. Car-pooling Members: CW, Michelle, ChaiChin and I.
Rewards: ??

First week

Needless to say, we were thrown a bombshell once we stepped into the house. Dusty and stuffy. Dark and gloomy. Lines of ants were welcoming us. What a heck of unpleasant smell!
We settled down at last... This was the time of showing our survival skills. We headed to the town and hunt for foodss! How elated we were when we saw a Chinese restaurant in the middle of the town..hehem:)
Hospital Besut is kind of small compared to HUSM. All the wards are single storey buildings. I've a deja vu feeling...kind of going back to my primary school as the buildings are so alike those classrooms we had. And, oh, so few of people inside (and outside as well) the wards! Our wards are congested always, with overloaded patients, family, specialists, MOs, HOs, staff nurses, medical students, nursing students, physiotherapists, dieticians...the list goes on.
My first oncall in A&E was great fun though no high end heart racing Red flag cases. Because I got to manage a case from the beginning till the end. History taking, PE, blood taking, IV line, chest x ray, admission...Eventhough it was just a complaint of "cough for 2 weeks"...And CW discharged a 5 years old girl after we confirmed she had no corneal abrasion with the fluorescent strip. (Hope we were right, hehe). Oh, we prescribed drugs too...alright, I'm getting too excited>>

Natalie: Stay tuned for second week's story;)

A start of something NEW

This is the 1st post from me, joel, for our beloved blog.:)
Blogging, a totally brand new experience to me. As far as I know, I'm always not good at expressing myself especially via writting.
Hence, you see, this blogging thing is sure not the idea of mine but natalie's:P
Well, everything must has a start or you will never know how it likes.
So..... on this particular day, at this particular time, in my small small hostel's room (sharing with natalie), at my not-so-tidy study place, i've made the 1st move to try on a something NEW.

What a great start of something NEW.

By the way, poor Natalie is still packing for her Besut posting:(
She is leaving soon, leaving me alone in this room alone at this cold post raining night. T_T

Shine on...

Saturday night. End of another weekend. Light shower. Sombre mood.
Packing. Packing. Going to leave my comfy room in one hour time. Taking one hour ride to Jerteh, Besut. Northen Terengganu. 15km away from jetty to Pulau Perhentian.
Attachment to District Hospital. Three and a half weeks.
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This is a site jointly managed by Joel & I. Our dancefloor. Our couch. Our safest place to express. Private emotions...the 7 wonders of the world. To see, to listen, to feel, to touch, to smell, to taste, and to Smile :)
One of the brightest stars,"Why",you might ask...Well, to remind you all, we are, at all times, one of the brightest stars. Brilliant. Unique. Irreplaceable. Worthwhile. So. Shine on..! ~ Natalie